Sour Grape

So I have never really had a bad experience with a doctor. I have had family members that have been unhappy with their care but I guess I have been lucky...until now. So my numbers were still playing the rollercoaster game, it wasn't as bad but things still were not stable and where they should be so my doc told me it was time to go see the endocrinologist. Ok, I figured that someone who specializes in that field would be able to give me some better insight or some tips on new things to try to better manage things, etc. This is something my doctor does constantly, and while I know that she knows the basics about diabetes I trust her, as well as the dietician who is diabetic herself. So how would I imagine anything but the care that I have recieved so far? Well to make a long story short this what the old ass guy that I saw told me today "we are going to cut your insulin in half and then you need to join weight watchers" that was pretty much it. I cculdn't believe that I paid him to tell me that because that was something that has been on my mind constantly! He also told me that I would just have to live with higher blood sugar numbers for a while while I worked on getting the weight off. Well, I must conclude that HE IS NOT DIABETIC. Does he know what seeing high numbers can do to someone physically and emotionally when they are truly trying to lose weight and stick to a strict diet to help control their disease?

He must not...there have been days when i feel like saying "screw it, maybe I will just live with my diabetes out of control...i'll be much happier" just because I see a number that isn't in range. Thing of studying day and night, giving up time with family and friends and just commiting yourself to your books and notes and then you end up getting a D or an F on that assignment you were working on...how would that feel? That would be enought to put a lot of people over the edge. I walked out of that office feeling so defeated, feeling like all the work that I had done this past year he took and threw it in the garbage disposal becuase it wasn't enough. I was crushed because all the encouragement that I have been getting so far was thrown out the window and definitley not there. He wants me to make a group follow up appt in two weeks, so i made it, but am now thinking about canceling and trying to get in with someone in my usual Fremont location. I just don't know what to do anymore...and what's funnier was when I asked about the possible financial toll that would take he told me to do it anyway, said maybe just a week and then "a lot of people try to do it on their own but I don't think that is possible, you need to join". I wonder if he is getting a cut from them to get his patients to use their services (nothing against weight watchers by the way, i know they are a good program but i was hoping to get different advice from a specialist). Well guess i will put in a call to my nutritionist and doctor and get second opinions from them and maybe try to see the endo in the fremont location.